My aunt is treating me like a slave

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am living with my aunt and her husband, who is a nice man. He is helpful and kind.

But my aunt wants me to do all the house chores, plus the cooking and the washing. She had a washing machine but it broke down. She said she cannot afford to buy another one right now. She has a day's worker who is complaining that she cannot wash clothes for my aunt, her husband and I. So I have been washing my own clothes, and sometimes my aunt insists that I wash the sheets. When I told her that I can't do so much washing, she said I can return to the country.

I have to secretly pay the day's worker to wash some of my clothes for me. I can manage the ironing. My aunt says things that she ought not to say. She says if I had my man's clothes to wash, I would have had to wash them because men don't spend their money on young girls without getting anything in return. I told my aunt that I don't know what she is talking about because I am still a virgin. She said that if I am a virgin, it won't be for too long. The woman is always abusing me.

I don't want to complain to my mother, because she would tell my father and he would tell me to pack up and come home. I do not want to go back to the country because there is nothing there for me. I am hoping to past a couple more subjects and to attend teachers' college. I am a good Christian girl. I don't like it when my aunt insults me. Sometimes I hate myself.

M.B.

Dear M.B.,

You have to learn to endure hardship and to remind yourself that what you are going through will not be forever.

I wish your aunt would look at your situation as an opportunity to help you and to get you out of poverty, so to speak. Your workload is heavy, but don't complain much. Very soon you will be in college, and your college years will pass very quickly.

I know you are afraid to tell your mother what you are going through, but whenever she asks you how you are feeling, tell her the truth. But don't give her the impression that your aunt is ill-treating you. Use some wisdom. Please continue to show your aunt respect. Remember, you are living in her house.

Pastor